The one and the biggest action should be accepting your own child wholeheartedly because acceptance starts from home. You don’t need to be an expert in all the things about LGBTQ to let them know you care. “There’s no right or wrong way to express love, just be present and be open.” Even if you’re not sure what to say, something as simple as, “I’m here for you. I love you, and I will support you no matter what” can mean the world to your child.

This world does not look kindly towards the LGBTQ community. People from the community often have a hard time accepting themselves, so as parents, we should not make them feel worse. We need to understand their internal struggle when they feel no one is on their side and be proud that they trusted us enough to tell us.

Parental support is protective against depression and associated with having a higher quality of life. Children who get support from their families can flourish professionally as well as psychologically. 

At the personal level: By welcoming their choice to be different, by applauding their inner strength achieved after probably much hesitation or inner conflict, by accepting their community friends and their families as if they were your own as well.

At the social level: By employing queer people, by sharing unconditional bonds of support and friendship with them, by supporting community causes, by speaking up when homophobic/ transphobic comments are made, by consciously avoiding / discouraging uninformed comments on issues facing the community.

Do’s  

1. Walk ten steps more than the extra miles your child has crossed to be her/himself.
2. Recognise that sexuality is very personal for that individual.
3. Remove if any rules in your mind for loving your child.
4. Take consent from your child to speak about their sexual orientation.

Don’ts

1. Do not worry. It impacts your child in negative way.
2. Accumulate your own fears. One needs to address one’s own fears as resolve them so that you react naturally to your child.
3. Gossip about community. It is important that you do not gossip about people from the community. The world is very closely connected and the person you gossiped about will get to know.
4. Neither flaunt nor hide the reality. 
5. Making things up may jeopardise your child’s future / interests.

A mother says, “It was lonely and confusing at first but once I met the community at large and I found such a happy new space! I love inhabiting that space today and count it a privilege to know so many exceptional people in more ways than one. I wish every parent similar good fortune! Hope every family is blessed with a queer member: the world would become such a diverse and inclusive space then! Such happiness, so much love!”

When a child gets support from their parents, half their battle is won. As parents it is our responsibility to give our children unconditional love, support and make them feel heard. While we may not understand everything initially, we can try our best and learn from our mistakes. Additionally, we are also students in this journey and should not hesitate to seek help from our children or professionals. 

Right from childhood, we can create an environment where they have the freedom to express themselves the way they are and not impose our ideas of gender or expression on them. They may even break gender barriers and that is okay! We need to be the pillar of support in that journey, not a barrier. 

Conversations about gender, sex, sexuality, expression and mental health should be started as early as possible making them feel safe to share and express what they might be going through. When we have such conversations early in childhood, we get an opportunity to be first responders to our children. Queer or not, these conversations make children adept with the diversity that exist around us, making them empathetic about it. 

At the end of the day, it is our child’s journey and if they require time to understand themselves, we should give them that. We can only be a guiding light to our children and after a point of time in life let them be free and be independent decision makers.

Acceptance is the ability to see that others have a right to be their own unique persons. That means having a right to their own feelings, thoughts and opinions. When you accept people for who they are, you let go of your desire to change them. You let them feel the way they want to feel, you let them be different and think differently from you. Everyone is different in one way or another. Once you understand this truth, you can stop trying to change them into the people you want them to be and start accepting them for who they are. Acceptance of others’ feelings is not easy when people act differently than we do. We all have trouble accepting those who are different. By learning the skill of empathy, we will be better able to understand ourselves and those who are different from us.

When you practice accepting others, you will be able to make it a habit. And when you make acceptance a habit in your life, you will become a more positive and happier person.

Believe in your child. Never impose your thoughts on him/her. Each child is unique and has his/her own thinking Always remember they are one generation after us. 

Give them the freedom to choose the path of their life. Guide them and point out the obstacles they may have to face in their path, but be patient and let them lead their life on their terms and not on how you want them to. 

Always be there for your child. Interacting with people who are different allows us to better understand our own values and beliefs. 

In addition, when comparing and contrasting our life experience with the life of others, we get a better understanding of how similar our needs are. 

Despite our outside circumstances, opinions, or appearance we all want to be loved and feel like we belong. 

Your positive interventions will help young LGBTQI+ persons more confident and face challenges in their lives much more strongly and courageously.

Most of the time parents react and have questions to ask like:

1. Is same sex attraction natural or unnatural or mental disorder?
2. Can this attraction or different gender identities be changed?
3. Does my child have hormonal imbalance which has caused this mismatch? 
4. How does my child feel different when no one else in my family does?
5. Is being LGBTQ a choice or a phase?
6. Did I do something wrong while bringing my child up?
7. If that is the case then why didn’t my child tell me for so long?
8. Did sexual abuse during early years change their orientation?
9. My child was influenced by the wrong company.
10. I have only one child, how will the generation go ahead?
11. How will I face family and society?
12. This is a western concept and not Indian culture.
13. Why does my child want the whole world to know? Is it really necessary?
14. Who will take care of my child after I die?
15. Will my child face stigma or discrimination everywhere?

We comfort them by explaining that these are myths and misconceptions. We share our experiences so that they get the answers to their questions and become comfortable towards their child’s sexual orientation and gender identity.

Respond to an LGBTQ character in the media: If you are watching TV or a movie together and an LGBTQ character comes on, seize the opportunity to affirm to your child that you are accepting and supportive of LGBTQ people. It may seem counterintuitive but the best thing to do is to wait for your child to open up to you.